Toothaches Are The Devil's Work

You ever had a toothache before? I don't mean some slight little pain that makes life slightly uncomfortable. I'm talking real pain here. The type of excruciating pain that sends you googling if it's safe to remove your teeth on your own. Word to the wise, it apparently is not, although the thought never really left my mind.
While, the horror has subsided, the memories will stay with me forever. I've had this happen twice before, and I'm hoping with three being my lucky number, that this will be the last time. The first was with one of my front teeth, and the last two were with one of my back molars.
 I never really knew you could bruise a tooth, but that is exactly what I did. I bruised the nerve in my tooth, and there was nothing I could really do except wait, load up on more Ibuprofen in one week than I've taken in my entire life, and promise God that if He gets me through this, I'll be a better person, and stop making fun of the wacky neighbors, because it's not their fault they're wacky, it's just the way God makes some people. The biggest issue with a bruised tooth is that until it happens you never realize how the slightest movement with your mouth affects your teeth. Even just slightly moving my mouth caused me to cry out in agony. I swear to Christ if I had seen a bright light I would have gone towards it just to get some relief.

Forget all about eating. My favorite thing in the world was ruined, by some stupid tooth, that couldn't handle whatever I had bit down on in the first place to bruise it. Up until the first instance the worst physical pain I had ever experienced in my 24 years on this planet was from a few years back when I was stung by a Puss Caterpillar. I was accidentally stung when I picked up a board, without gloves, and it was hiding underneath it. This furry little creature packs a sting that is equal to that of a Scorpion's, and apparently it is quite poisonous as well. Of course I am a self-proclaimed superior being, who is able to thwart various diseases and poisons that others cannot, and while I was in a good amount of pain for 12 hours, I had no reaction to its toxin.

When I tell you that this pain my tooth is nothing compared to the sting of some silly caterpillar, you can take that to the bank. It's also left me with a real disgusting taste in my mouth for people who use the phrase, "Oh I'd rather pull teeth, than do that." As if being the one who is pulling the tooth out causes suffering. You dirty little imp. How dare you try to act like pulling teeth is some difficult job. How about I bang your tooth in with a hammer so you can experience real pain, like those of us who have had to deal with a toothache. Even back in the days of the wild, wild, west where the phrase probably originated from, and they used to have to pull teeth without anesthetic, and instead the patient would lash out at the dentist, and threaten to slice him with his own dentist tools. Even back then the phrase was unjustified. I imagine there were a lot of dentists way back when who used to go to work in a full suit of armor.  That way they didn't go home with scalers, and excavators sticking out of various parts of their body.

Thanks for reading,
Marissa